From the clinical side of this: the conversation that blindsides families almost never happens in the hospital — it happens weeks later, at home, when "he survived" quietly becomes "and now what?" We're very good at the rescue and strangely silent about everything that comes after it. Thank you for naming the part we skip.
Thank You! This is such an important topic! These are especially important conversations to have in times such as these. Within the past many years, as the 2nd layer of the sandwich generation, I’ve provided support and care giving to my aging parent, my children, and a grandchild. My suggestion: BE PREPARED! Be VERY prepared!
LOL - Ahhh, well, I'm polykronic, so that helps, i.e. I am where time comes from and locate myself in various time & space configurations. Also, I generally rely on what I consider as the Sacred Trinity, the guidance of my whole heartfield intuition, my whole body instincts, and my radiant consciousness intelligence, all having emerged from the vast field of infinite Creation. That team, when unified, is remarkable IMHO. 💞
Such an important topic, and it’s great seeing services like bQuest to support people in navigating this. I was put in a caregiving role after my mom died and left behind my 82-year-old dad, who had no idea how to care for his home or do basic life tasks such as grocery shopping.
My advice for anyone suddenly thrust into this role is to make sure you have the proper paperwork in place before any crisis hits. In my region (British Columbia, Canada), this meant having enduring POA (for financial decisions) and health care representation (for health decisions). We had a joint bank account and credit card, so I was able to pay bills and monitor spending (which gave me peace of mind about potential fraud or scams).
And while private businesses are useful, it’s important to lean into the community: neighbours, friends, people who work at local hangouts (I had his favourite coffee shop and pub on speed dial). It takes a village to care for our elders.
Maura, thank you for opening this up so personally — the questions you list (about money, dignity, timing) are exactly the ones most families never think to ask until it's too late. That kind of clarity, especially coming through Hello, Mortal, matters.
I'd love to add one more layer to the conversation, separate from any service or solution: for me, this isn't just a "market" question — it's a question about how we choose to inhabit what Pope Francis called our "Common Home." Care for elders, like care for the planet, asks us to slow down, stay in relationship, and resist treating people (or ecosystems) as problems to optimize away. The demographic wave you mention — 1 in 5 Americans by 2030 — is already reality in the EU (22% in 2025) and even further along in Japan (29%+). So this isn't a uniquely American challenge; it's a shared one, and maybe an invitation to relearn something older cultures never fully forgot: that caregiving is a form of solidarity, not just a service to be delivered.
Well said! Thank you for contributing to this conversation. Your point about caregiving being a global form of solidarity, and not just a service to be delivered, is vital to our wellbeing as a society.
This is so timely and important, thank you. As my parents age, I think about many of these things often, but the conversations aren't as focused as they should be. Thank you for providing some questions to help start these important conversations.
From the clinical side of this: the conversation that blindsides families almost never happens in the hospital — it happens weeks later, at home, when "he survived" quietly becomes "and now what?" We're very good at the rescue and strangely silent about everything that comes after it. Thank you for naming the part we skip.
100%
Thank You! This is such an important topic! These are especially important conversations to have in times such as these. Within the past many years, as the 2nd layer of the sandwich generation, I’ve provided support and care giving to my aging parent, my children, and a grandchild. My suggestion: BE PREPARED! Be VERY prepared!
How do you find time to care for yourself?
LOL - Ahhh, well, I'm polykronic, so that helps, i.e. I am where time comes from and locate myself in various time & space configurations. Also, I generally rely on what I consider as the Sacred Trinity, the guidance of my whole heartfield intuition, my whole body instincts, and my radiant consciousness intelligence, all having emerged from the vast field of infinite Creation. That team, when unified, is remarkable IMHO. 💞
Such an important topic, and it’s great seeing services like bQuest to support people in navigating this. I was put in a caregiving role after my mom died and left behind my 82-year-old dad, who had no idea how to care for his home or do basic life tasks such as grocery shopping.
My advice for anyone suddenly thrust into this role is to make sure you have the proper paperwork in place before any crisis hits. In my region (British Columbia, Canada), this meant having enduring POA (for financial decisions) and health care representation (for health decisions). We had a joint bank account and credit card, so I was able to pay bills and monitor spending (which gave me peace of mind about potential fraud or scams).
And while private businesses are useful, it’s important to lean into the community: neighbours, friends, people who work at local hangouts (I had his favourite coffee shop and pub on speed dial). It takes a village to care for our elders.
Thank you for calling out how important community is! Arguably the most important aspect of all of this.
Maura, thank you for opening this up so personally — the questions you list (about money, dignity, timing) are exactly the ones most families never think to ask until it's too late. That kind of clarity, especially coming through Hello, Mortal, matters.
I'd love to add one more layer to the conversation, separate from any service or solution: for me, this isn't just a "market" question — it's a question about how we choose to inhabit what Pope Francis called our "Common Home." Care for elders, like care for the planet, asks us to slow down, stay in relationship, and resist treating people (or ecosystems) as problems to optimize away. The demographic wave you mention — 1 in 5 Americans by 2030 — is already reality in the EU (22% in 2025) and even further along in Japan (29%+). So this isn't a uniquely American challenge; it's a shared one, and maybe an invitation to relearn something older cultures never fully forgot: that caregiving is a form of solidarity, not just a service to be delivered.
Grateful you're holding this conversation open.
Well said! Thank you for contributing to this conversation. Your point about caregiving being a global form of solidarity, and not just a service to be delivered, is vital to our wellbeing as a society.
This is so timely and important, thank you. As my parents age, I think about many of these things often, but the conversations aren't as focused as they should be. Thank you for providing some questions to help start these important conversations.
Thank you for reading and having the courage to have the hard but important conversations!
Read “Choosing Joy” by Helene Berger. How she became the caregiver for her husband and her lessons for us all.
Thanks for the rec!