Thank you for this reflection on existential dread. Did you know it's also a symptom of perimenopause? That's been fun to find out! 😜 You are absolutely right, that we are all going through it right now as a society and coping in so many different ways. I took have limited my news intake to certain times of day. Also, trying to get outside as much as possible and keep my body moving. Sometimes it helps to just focus on what I can do right now and what's in my control - even if it's folding laundry.
I did not know that...something to look forward to! 😅
It makes sense since Peri/menopause is such a massive transition, and of course, existential stuff would rise up in that space. Anticipatory grief, identity shifts, hormonal chaos... it’s all in the mix.
The 6th spiritual law of success is detachment. I find that if I follow this for the things/situations/outcomes I want to see, I don’t worry so much about what I can’t control. Of course I have to remember to pick it up every morning and keep it with me all day which an be a challenge at times. 🫤
Interesting that you ask. Recently I've discovered substack and I am very excited by the long form content sharing, deep conversations, and well developed ideas. I think I've found my people. 😃
Thank you for writing this. Things haven’t been the same since my mom passed away last February. I used to consume a lot of news, but in the past few weeks, I’ve felt completely disconnected.
Just yesterday, I found myself listening to an old Coke Studio song on repeat. Today, I finally started updating my playlists again. Music and writing have helped me navigate a lot. In the beginning, I poured my grief into writing about my mother, but over time, I realized it was having the opposite effect. So I stopped. I think I’ve healed in some ways, but I never considered that my disconnection might be tied to something larger—something happening in the world.
My wife doesn’t seem to feel this way. But she’s in the medical field—her work has clear boundaries. When her patient leaves, the job is done. She’s also in high demand right now. I, on the other hand, am unemployed and trying to rebuild. We live in the same home, but we’re in different seasons of life, and different in many ways. I think that’s a good thing. If we were both in a dark place, that wouldn’t help. Someone needs to stay grounded. My family has been that anchor for me.
As I read your piece, I kept thinking—humanity has been at this crossroads many times before. In a way, death and destruction used to be the norm. Maybe we’ve just forgotten how to live with it. Sometimes I feel like we’re slipping back into a kind of feudal era. I was watching a Bollywood film set during British rule, and I was struck by how powerless the villagers were. That sense of powerlessness feels familiar now. We live in our little “villages,” and even with the illusion of wealth or agency, most of it is slipping away—especially for the middle class.
I’m not sure if this is leftover from the COVID era. After COVID, I still managed to buy a co-op, buy a home, and continue building my career. I don’t think this feeling comes from back then. It feels… more recent. More systemic.
I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. Stepping away from the news is absolutely the right thing to do if that’s what you need. It sounds like you’re in a season of big change, so I’m glad to hear music and writing have helped you process; I turn to creative outlets too.
Ah yes, existential dread—the unwanted houseguest of modern consciousness. Moves in uninvited, eats all your serotonin, and insists on reciting Camus at 3AM while you’re trying to alphabetize your trauma.
But Maura, you’ve named the monster and invited it to tea. That’s spiritual kung fu.
This is the paradox the monastery forgot to warn you about: even as the world burns, you still have to replace the Brita filter. You can be both cosmically unhinged and out of toilet paper.
Thank you for reminding us that checking out isn’t cowardice—it’s sacred bandwidth management. Sometimes the only sane response to late-stage capitalism, nuclear brinkmanship, and AI-written cat obituaries… is to buy eggs off the street and eat cake with your friends.
Because yes, the void is real. But so is your body. And sometimes the most radical act of rebellion is to feel something without doomscrolling it to death.
Maura, this is exactly what I have been trying to tell people but so elegantly put. I must show others! Thank you for sharing your experience. I hope your load gets lighter
Your thought stream is so synchronized with mine - including your references- it’s scary. Scary good. We’re on a similar journey evidently. I will tell you that marrying well - as I did 12 years ago - has made a huge difference in my daily happiness. I wish the same for you. 😊
My favorite line: “I still care deeply about the world. I’ve just stopped trying to carry the weight of all of it at once. I’m choosing to invest in what’s right in front of me, because that’s the only place I can create real change.”
My mom called me a month ago and told me that she's decided not to consume any news. This is from a woman who would say the words "I was listening to NPR and...." at least once in every conversation. And I told her, "That seems healthy, Mom." And I meant it! She also told me she's bored, so I told her, "Now would be the time to go volunteer."
That's all to say, I think checking out of the news can be the start to a better, healthier relationship with being truly checked in: to your community, to the people around you. It's easier to hold the weight of your friend's failed IVF when you're not also carrying the rate of an intractable conflict across the world.
You would never say, "Well, other people have it better than you," when someone tells you about a success. So why do we think it's okay to say, "Well, other people have it worse than you?" I think the knee jerk reaction to say that someone dealing with their own stuff, their own family, their own friends, their own job, their own community instead of absorbing all suffering is being privileged amounts to the same thing. We're all doing our best.
Asserting your sanity, your willingness to grapple with the madness without succumbing to it, is itself, a radical act of resistance. Keep writing. Keep pondering. You’re making a difference.
Sharing here the perspective I offered my daughters.
We’re in it. No hiding from it.
Resist. Protect. Survive. Support the most vulnerable among us. Practice self-care. Find a way to thrive amidst the chaos.
We can’t choose the times we live in.
But we can choose how we meet the moment.
No you’re not crazy. You can’t pusuade anyone to see what they don’t want to see.
Take care of each other. A community of open minded open hearted people may be the best antidote we have to offer one another right now.
I’m seeing a general reorienting in how and what makes meaning for us. So many of my loved ones are transitioning and deciding how to live life on their own terms.
For me personally, I’ve been diving deeper into spiritualism, quantum physics, reading books about belonging and bridging, and being intentional about the company I keep that gives me joy and relief. Journaling has also been a great salve, and is a lot cheaper than therapy!
Thank you for this reflection on existential dread. Did you know it's also a symptom of perimenopause? That's been fun to find out! 😜 You are absolutely right, that we are all going through it right now as a society and coping in so many different ways. I took have limited my news intake to certain times of day. Also, trying to get outside as much as possible and keep my body moving. Sometimes it helps to just focus on what I can do right now and what's in my control - even if it's folding laundry.
I did not know that...something to look forward to! 😅
It makes sense since Peri/menopause is such a massive transition, and of course, existential stuff would rise up in that space. Anticipatory grief, identity shifts, hormonal chaos... it’s all in the mix.
So well said .
The 6th spiritual law of success is detachment. I find that if I follow this for the things/situations/outcomes I want to see, I don’t worry so much about what I can’t control. Of course I have to remember to pick it up every morning and keep it with me all day which an be a challenge at times. 🫤
I just try to focus on the present, choosing what excites me most in that moment, and trusting the process. 🔥
What's the last thing that excited you that you chose?
Interesting that you ask. Recently I've discovered substack and I am very excited by the long form content sharing, deep conversations, and well developed ideas. I think I've found my people. 😃
Thank you for writing this. Things haven’t been the same since my mom passed away last February. I used to consume a lot of news, but in the past few weeks, I’ve felt completely disconnected.
Just yesterday, I found myself listening to an old Coke Studio song on repeat. Today, I finally started updating my playlists again. Music and writing have helped me navigate a lot. In the beginning, I poured my grief into writing about my mother, but over time, I realized it was having the opposite effect. So I stopped. I think I’ve healed in some ways, but I never considered that my disconnection might be tied to something larger—something happening in the world.
My wife doesn’t seem to feel this way. But she’s in the medical field—her work has clear boundaries. When her patient leaves, the job is done. She’s also in high demand right now. I, on the other hand, am unemployed and trying to rebuild. We live in the same home, but we’re in different seasons of life, and different in many ways. I think that’s a good thing. If we were both in a dark place, that wouldn’t help. Someone needs to stay grounded. My family has been that anchor for me.
As I read your piece, I kept thinking—humanity has been at this crossroads many times before. In a way, death and destruction used to be the norm. Maybe we’ve just forgotten how to live with it. Sometimes I feel like we’re slipping back into a kind of feudal era. I was watching a Bollywood film set during British rule, and I was struck by how powerless the villagers were. That sense of powerlessness feels familiar now. We live in our little “villages,” and even with the illusion of wealth or agency, most of it is slipping away—especially for the middle class.
I’m not sure if this is leftover from the COVID era. After COVID, I still managed to buy a co-op, buy a home, and continue building my career. I don’t think this feeling comes from back then. It feels… more recent. More systemic.
I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. Stepping away from the news is absolutely the right thing to do if that’s what you need. It sounds like you’re in a season of big change, so I’m glad to hear music and writing have helped you process; I turn to creative outlets too.
I wrote something on this or rather the words found me somehow: https://substack.com/home/post/p-161197362?source=queue
Saved! This got me: "We are either strong enough to save this world, or brave enough to build a new one."
Ah yes, existential dread—the unwanted houseguest of modern consciousness. Moves in uninvited, eats all your serotonin, and insists on reciting Camus at 3AM while you’re trying to alphabetize your trauma.
But Maura, you’ve named the monster and invited it to tea. That’s spiritual kung fu.
This is the paradox the monastery forgot to warn you about: even as the world burns, you still have to replace the Brita filter. You can be both cosmically unhinged and out of toilet paper.
Thank you for reminding us that checking out isn’t cowardice—it’s sacred bandwidth management. Sometimes the only sane response to late-stage capitalism, nuclear brinkmanship, and AI-written cat obituaries… is to buy eggs off the street and eat cake with your friends.
Because yes, the void is real. But so is your body. And sometimes the most radical act of rebellion is to feel something without doomscrolling it to death.
—VMB ✨
Maura, this is exactly what I have been trying to tell people but so elegantly put. I must show others! Thank you for sharing your experience. I hope your load gets lighter
Your thought stream is so synchronized with mine - including your references- it’s scary. Scary good. We’re on a similar journey evidently. I will tell you that marrying well - as I did 12 years ago - has made a huge difference in my daily happiness. I wish the same for you. 😊
My favorite line: “I still care deeply about the world. I’ve just stopped trying to carry the weight of all of it at once. I’m choosing to invest in what’s right in front of me, because that’s the only place I can create real change.”
My mom called me a month ago and told me that she's decided not to consume any news. This is from a woman who would say the words "I was listening to NPR and...." at least once in every conversation. And I told her, "That seems healthy, Mom." And I meant it! She also told me she's bored, so I told her, "Now would be the time to go volunteer."
That's all to say, I think checking out of the news can be the start to a better, healthier relationship with being truly checked in: to your community, to the people around you. It's easier to hold the weight of your friend's failed IVF when you're not also carrying the rate of an intractable conflict across the world.
You would never say, "Well, other people have it better than you," when someone tells you about a success. So why do we think it's okay to say, "Well, other people have it worse than you?" I think the knee jerk reaction to say that someone dealing with their own stuff, their own family, their own friends, their own job, their own community instead of absorbing all suffering is being privileged amounts to the same thing. We're all doing our best.
Asserting your sanity, your willingness to grapple with the madness without succumbing to it, is itself, a radical act of resistance. Keep writing. Keep pondering. You’re making a difference.
Sharing here the perspective I offered my daughters.
We’re in it. No hiding from it.
Resist. Protect. Survive. Support the most vulnerable among us. Practice self-care. Find a way to thrive amidst the chaos.
We can’t choose the times we live in.
But we can choose how we meet the moment.
No you’re not crazy. You can’t pusuade anyone to see what they don’t want to see.
Take care of each other. A community of open minded open hearted people may be the best antidote we have to offer one another right now.
I’m seeing a general reorienting in how and what makes meaning for us. So many of my loved ones are transitioning and deciding how to live life on their own terms.
For me personally, I’ve been diving deeper into spiritualism, quantum physics, reading books about belonging and bridging, and being intentional about the company I keep that gives me joy and relief. Journaling has also been a great salve, and is a lot cheaper than therapy!
At the very outset, congratulations on your upcoming wedding! All the very best now and always.
Albert Camus is right in an existential kind of way: condemned to live, condemned to die.
But where I disagree is that it is only when one comes in the human form that one gets to choose the kind of life one wants. Karma.
Karma means action: I can choose bliss or misery for myself.
No other creature has this freedom!