As I’ve suggested before, planning and paying for your funeral now is one of the most loving things you can do for your family. No matter how comfortable you are about telling your family your plans, if you don’t pre-plan and pay for it now, you leave them with what can be a pretty significant bill that comes due long before your life insurance pays out or the proceeds from your estate are available for their use. Pre-paying is also cheaper, you are essentially buying an insurance policy that almost all funeral homes in the nation will accept as payment no matter how much the costs of funerals rise (they’ve been rising at 7-8%/year for a long time). A simple cremation will set you back $5,000 in today’s dollars.
I am posting this to add to the discussion and to offer up another option. I have chosen full body donation and organ donation. My state's anatomy board will pick up my body and deliver it to a research and or medical facility. They aren't guaranteeing they will able to donate my individual organs to transplant medical outlets also. They will try whatever that means,but that is find with me. The service is free. It aligns with my spiritual beliefs and I consider it my last act of service. My Mom did this and I have alerted the people in my life of my wishes. There is an option for my loved ones to receive my cremated remains after the medical facilities no longer need my body. I have said no to that option because I do not wish for someone to be burdened with disposing my remains. I feel that I will offer up my body to research and that is the end of my body's journey here.
That's wonderful that you know what you want and that you've told the people who will be coordinating it, too. If you take the quiz I mentioned in the post, there's an option to donate to science; I'd be curious whether it's the one you get as your result.
I took the quiz. Very interesting Maura. I tested green burial, human composting and water composting. That's fascinating because I think of my body donation to research as a kind of composting; my body will be broken down into useful parts before creamtion then its ashes will be returned to the earth. I am a Buddhist and this choice feels like I am going to be practicing one of our core beliefs; we are all one. We Buddhists offer our meditation practice to the benefit of all. This will be my last meditation practise. And my family will only have to answer the door when the Maryland Anatomy board knocks for pick up. No fuss. No worry. The board will be notified of my death. I love that
Hey Maura. Thanks for facilitating a discussion about the benefits of communicating wishes for our corpse disposal with family and/or friends. I appreciate your encouragement to communicate before death makes it too late. While I would like to return to the Sunday coffee conversations that you host, it is unlikely that I will be able to do so before fall. I am currently on the Sunday schedule at a public library at least through November.
There are significant risks to pre-paying funeral costs.
In my opinion, I would need several questions answered before I consider pre-payment. Does pre-payment lock in today's prices.
The list of uncovered charges is long and surprising. Someone who prepays expecting their family to be protected could still leave them with a substantial unexpected bill. And there's no guarantee that the funeral home receiving the funds will actually be in business at the time of the funeral. So the contract must be seriously read through. Also, check into whether there is any interest paid on the pre-payment amount. It may be a better option to deposit the money in a CD at your bank or in a special trust fund in order to make money on your money while it sits. there.
There is something to be said about the emotional and organizational case for pre-planning (deciding what you want, documenting it, telling your family) remains strong. The article's core argument holds. The question is just whether pre-paying is the right financial vehicle — and the answer appears to be "it depends, and probably not always."
I have chosen Return Home, a composting service with ritual. I’m paying for it over time to be completed from savings if I die before it is fully financed. My husband and I have also moved into a retirement community since he has become mostly blind and mostly deaf, but also so our children don’t have to figure out what the heck to do with us if we go completely bonkers. So far so good 😁.
My understanding is that if anyone wants part of the soil as a memorial or to plant in their own area, they can have it. The rest will go to a designated area where it will nurture a tree.
I have been reading your valuable words for a while now and truly appreciate you and the important topic of our mortality, or as I like to think about it, completing the full circle of life. It is a mission and vision of mine to inspire as many as possible to complete legal documents and have what I call life-giving conversations before it is too late. To this particular piece, I have been forever grateful when my parents gathered us one summer afternoon, sitting outside the barn, to let us know they decided and made all the arrangements for their bodies to be donated to the Albany Medical Center in NY for research. Upon the completion of their time there, they came back to us in cremation urns, which were placed in their pre-paid "nooks," as I like to call them at the local cemetery of which my dad had been a board member. One of the challenges for me of this important decision is that I have moved multiple times. While I assume, in that I am in my late 70s, that I will be in this location when the time comes, I do not know that for sure. I am thinking that a best option might be to open an account for expenses so no matter where I live my daughter will have access to that and follow through with further wishes.
I love the mission and the reframing of them as life-giving conversations. And moves are a practical challenge. I think your idea of setting aside dedicated funds and talking to your daughter about what you want, based on different locations or circumstances, makes sense and would be incredibly helpful!
As I’ve suggested before, planning and paying for your funeral now is one of the most loving things you can do for your family. No matter how comfortable you are about telling your family your plans, if you don’t pre-plan and pay for it now, you leave them with what can be a pretty significant bill that comes due long before your life insurance pays out or the proceeds from your estate are available for their use. Pre-paying is also cheaper, you are essentially buying an insurance policy that almost all funeral homes in the nation will accept as payment no matter how much the costs of funerals rise (they’ve been rising at 7-8%/year for a long time). A simple cremation will set you back $5,000 in today’s dollars.
Definitely something to consider! I wrote about the pros and cons of pre-paid funerals and some of the questions people should make sure to ask here: https://hellomortal.substack.com/p/the-one-thing-you-need-to-start-thinking?r=3an3tw&utm_medium=ios
Please find four references related to this very important topic
http://www.easydeathbook.com/purpose.asp
http://deathanddyingwisdom.com
http://adidam.org/death_and_dying/index.html
http://beezone.com/deathlp.html Mate Moce - Death as a Living Process
Thanks!
I am posting this to add to the discussion and to offer up another option. I have chosen full body donation and organ donation. My state's anatomy board will pick up my body and deliver it to a research and or medical facility. They aren't guaranteeing they will able to donate my individual organs to transplant medical outlets also. They will try whatever that means,but that is find with me. The service is free. It aligns with my spiritual beliefs and I consider it my last act of service. My Mom did this and I have alerted the people in my life of my wishes. There is an option for my loved ones to receive my cremated remains after the medical facilities no longer need my body. I have said no to that option because I do not wish for someone to be burdened with disposing my remains. I feel that I will offer up my body to research and that is the end of my body's journey here.
That's wonderful that you know what you want and that you've told the people who will be coordinating it, too. If you take the quiz I mentioned in the post, there's an option to donate to science; I'd be curious whether it's the one you get as your result.
I took the quiz. Very interesting Maura. I tested green burial, human composting and water composting. That's fascinating because I think of my body donation to research as a kind of composting; my body will be broken down into useful parts before creamtion then its ashes will be returned to the earth. I am a Buddhist and this choice feels like I am going to be practicing one of our core beliefs; we are all one. We Buddhists offer our meditation practice to the benefit of all. This will be my last meditation practise. And my family will only have to answer the door when the Maryland Anatomy board knocks for pick up. No fuss. No worry. The board will be notified of my death. I love that
Love the way you look at it.
Thanks for this! I’ve been agonizing over this question. Your quiz was helpful. I’m going to seriously research a green burial option.
So glad you found it useful! The Green Burial Council has a lot of great resources to help on that front: https://www.greenburialcouncil.org/
Hey Maura. Thanks for facilitating a discussion about the benefits of communicating wishes for our corpse disposal with family and/or friends. I appreciate your encouragement to communicate before death makes it too late. While I would like to return to the Sunday coffee conversations that you host, it is unlikely that I will be able to do so before fall. I am currently on the Sunday schedule at a public library at least through November.
Thanks for joining us, Susan! It was great to meet you—no worries about attendance for future sessions. Come and go as you please :)
There are significant risks to pre-paying funeral costs.
In my opinion, I would need several questions answered before I consider pre-payment. Does pre-payment lock in today's prices.
The list of uncovered charges is long and surprising. Someone who prepays expecting their family to be protected could still leave them with a substantial unexpected bill. And there's no guarantee that the funeral home receiving the funds will actually be in business at the time of the funeral. So the contract must be seriously read through. Also, check into whether there is any interest paid on the pre-payment amount. It may be a better option to deposit the money in a CD at your bank or in a special trust fund in order to make money on your money while it sits. there.
There is something to be said about the emotional and organizational case for pre-planning (deciding what you want, documenting it, telling your family) remains strong. The article's core argument holds. The question is just whether pre-paying is the right financial vehicle — and the answer appears to be "it depends, and probably not always."
If you want to know the more detailed pros and cons of prepayment, visit People's Memorial website: https://peoplesmemorial.org/education/planning-information/should-i-prepay.html
Absolutely. Everyone should consider the pros and cons for themselves and what's best for their unique situation. We also wrote about what questions to consider here: https://hellomortal.substack.com/p/the-one-thing-you-need-to-start-thinking?r=3an3tw&utm_medium=ios
I have a long chapter in my book (You're Going to Die But Not Me) about this...in fact a read that chapter at a literary event last night! https://www.amazon.com/Youre-Going-Die-But-Not/dp/1965784372/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2E7169H6JHQSD&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.NCKBLi1d0nwJB4UcU7SNCiUviAafYUpL4OTvpw_tdzRth62lJGaBbOGCS2pf3XNOOvrZm1iaZPPdBoKqEhba7am0IGpNEXG7jjXY_SizMd6O2X0y6Y8TRexR4ex_Ha-ZCRjsEJl3mG_a_w88zhDaXlbB2lHWhQqDA9KbObTKxawk-vRfEMu2HO9wU9-pp4ie_bLSijnYxV9S0B8xjlLrtA.I3m3Zaj-urw09jnFizb1JfymxcVRQ9OW_vSFkvU6H_o&dib_tag=se&keywords=you%27re+going+to+die+but+not+me&qid=1782663112&sprefix=%2Caps%2C199&sr=8-1
This is such a great resource. Thank you!
Glad you like it!
I have chosen Return Home, a composting service with ritual. I’m paying for it over time to be completed from savings if I die before it is fully financed. My husband and I have also moved into a retirement community since he has become mostly blind and mostly deaf, but also so our children don’t have to figure out what the heck to do with us if we go completely bonkers. So far so good 😁.
I hope your kids are grateful for all of your thoughtful planning! Do you know what you plan to do with the soil once the process is complete ?
My understanding is that if anyone wants part of the soil as a memorial or to plant in their own area, they can have it. The rest will go to a designated area where it will nurture a tree.
I have been reading your valuable words for a while now and truly appreciate you and the important topic of our mortality, or as I like to think about it, completing the full circle of life. It is a mission and vision of mine to inspire as many as possible to complete legal documents and have what I call life-giving conversations before it is too late. To this particular piece, I have been forever grateful when my parents gathered us one summer afternoon, sitting outside the barn, to let us know they decided and made all the arrangements for their bodies to be donated to the Albany Medical Center in NY for research. Upon the completion of their time there, they came back to us in cremation urns, which were placed in their pre-paid "nooks," as I like to call them at the local cemetery of which my dad had been a board member. One of the challenges for me of this important decision is that I have moved multiple times. While I assume, in that I am in my late 70s, that I will be in this location when the time comes, I do not know that for sure. I am thinking that a best option might be to open an account for expenses so no matter where I live my daughter will have access to that and follow through with further wishes.
I love the mission and the reframing of them as life-giving conversations. And moves are a practical challenge. I think your idea of setting aside dedicated funds and talking to your daughter about what you want, based on different locations or circumstances, makes sense and would be incredibly helpful!
Thank you, Maura, for affirming of this way of resolving this final piece for me.