18 Comments
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Julie Neches's avatar

My daughter Alix died at age twenty-five after a long battle with bipolar disorder. I journeyed with her after her diagnosis at age eighteen. I’m looking forward to seeing this film and learning from its wisdom. Thanks for sharing the film and its message!

Maura McInerney-Rowley's avatar

Julie, I’m so sorry to hear about your daughter Alix. That kind of loss is unimaginable, and I’m grateful you shared a piece of her story here. Walking alongside her through those years must have taken extraordinary love and strength. I hope the film offers you something a moment of reflection or connection.

Julie Neches's avatar

Thank you for the support! I’m excited to see the film and I’m sure it will give me both reflection and connection!

Rosie's avatar

Ohh I just finished reading You Better Be Lightning by Andrea this week and I can’t wait to watch! Thanks for sharing a bit about the film - I didn’t know about it before your post today.

Maura McInerney-Rowley's avatar

So glad to hear that!

Sharon Geiken Westerberg's avatar

This is a wonderful and inspiring article. How did you find Andrea GIbson? What a treasure! I plan on watching the movie. Thanks

Maura McInerney-Rowley's avatar

Thank you for reading! I think I found Andrea through Instagram or Substack, but I don't remember.

Julie Harmon Chavez's avatar

That there’s no time to waste!

Hi Maura…

I was caregiver for both my parents for 6 years until their deaths…and as you mentioned a sense of urgency is always part of the practice! My mom died in 2016 and my Dad in 2022. Since then that feeling of there’s no time to waste has stayed with me. I try not to put off tomorrow what things I can do today to meet my goals, make my plans, achieve my dreams! I’ve been a busy woman! But I’ve also slowed down incredibly. Before this caregiving experience I lived a frenzied life…busy for the wrong reasons. Now it’s about intention. I may not achieve as much but everything I do is meaningful. Thanks for sharing your reflections. I’ve been following Megan’s writings since Andrea died and as heartbreaking as it is I can’t stop reading her. She’s ann amazing writer/poet in her own right…beautiful! Hope to see you at Death over Coffee on the 25th! Love, Julie

Maura McInerney-Rowley's avatar

Julie, thank you so much for sharing your experience. Caring for both your parents sounds like it was a meaningful and exhausting experience. I really felt what you said about urgency turning into intention.

I’ve also been following Megan’s writing and there’s so much love in it ❤️

And yes, I’ll be at Death Over Coffee on the 25th!

xo,

Maura

Julie Harmon Chavez's avatar

♥️🙏🏻

Cecily Robertson's avatar

So happy to see you writing about this film! One of my favorite poems of theirs is "Every time I ever said I want to die." They describe themselves as a grief astronomer, and that phrasing has always felt so potent and true of our work.

The snowy weekend ahead might be the perfect time to curl up with them again.

Maura McInerney-Rowley's avatar

I LOVE that one too!

The Grief Counsellor's avatar

It's such a beautiful, tender, heartbreaking film. 'I f****** loved my life' is a quote of Andrea's that now lives inside of me.

Katie Pulsifer's avatar

I can't wait to watch this movie... thank you for posting and for reminding me of it. With deep appreciation for your writing and work.

Maura McInerney-Rowley's avatar

Come back and let me know what you think after you watch it!

Katie Pulsifer's avatar

Will do!

Barbara Schutt's avatar

I had a cancer diagnosis in 2017 and went through chemo/mastectomy/reconstruction and then explanted them. It was a wild trip and really made me re-evaluate my life, what I find important. I can so relate to Andrea and should've watched this film when I had the chance when house sitting in another state at my daughter who has apple tv. I don't have it here, to watch, sadly. But I will be at my daughter's again one day.

Maura McInerney-Rowley's avatar

Barbara,

Thank you for sharing this. It makes total sense that Andrea’s story resonates so deeply. That kind of reckoning really does rewire what we value.

What a meaningful experience it will be to watch the film with your daughter when you’re back at her place. I imagine it could spark a really beautiful conversation between you two.