The one thing you need to start thinking about to prepare for death
Should you pre-pay for your funeral? The pros, cons, and a guide to help you decide.
I’ve always found it odd that most of us don’t set aside a dime (not to mention, any real thought or conversation) for the one thing that’s absolutely guaranteed in life: death.
The average funeral costs over $8,000, and most Americans can’t afford that—the majority struggle to cover even a $1,000 emergency. So it’s no surprise that more than a third of people take on debt when a loved one dies. Crowdfunding sites like GoFundMe now raise over $330 million annually for memorial expenses.
Add to that the fact that only 30% of Americans have a will, and it’s clear:
We’re not ready—emotionally or financially—for the one event in life we know is coming.
Saving for your own funeral, admittedly, isn’t the sexiest use of your hard-earned resources. It doesn’t show up on your vision board or in your five-year plan. And of course, in the hierarchy of needs, it’s hard to put your future cremation ahead of next month’s rent, your kids’ college education or your own retirement.
Furthermore, unlike other life milestones (a wedding, a new baby, a 50th birthday), your funeral is the one event you won’t be around to experience. That makes it easy to push off, and maintain an “out of sight, out of mind,” or “that’s someone else’s problem” attitude.
But it shouldn’t be someone else’s problem. It’s your life, after all, and it’s also your death.
I wonder if things might be different if people realized that how we relate to our future death shapes how we live right now. Because when you acknowledge that your life is finite, you can gain clarity around your priorities and values, becoming more intentional with the way you spend your time and resources. You might stop hoarding miles for a trip you’ll never take, make peace with an estranged sibling, or finally quit the job that’s slowly killing you.
And when you fully accept that death is a natural (and sacred) part of life, it becomes easier to make plans. You stop avoiding the topic, and start asking questions that matter: What type of body disposition aligns with my values? Who will be responsible for planning my funeral? How can I make it easier for them?
Because one day, whether far in the future or tomorrow, you will die, and someone will have to deal with your death. And when there’s no plan and no money set aside, that results in stress, confusion, even guilt and resentment.
And if you feel it’s too early to think about planning or saving for your funeral, consider this: the cost of doing nothing often falls on the people you care about most.
There’s a lot of terrain to cover here, but we’re going to focus on one specific (and very important) aspect of planning for death: the question of whether to prepay for your own funeral.
It’s easy to confuse prepaying with preplanning, but they’re different:
Pre-planning means thinking through your wishes, documenting your preferences, and having conversations with the people who’ll carry them out.
Pre-paying means you actually pay for services in advance—sometimes in full, sometimes through installments or an insurance-based plan, or putting aside money in a savings account.
The big question is: To pre-pay, or not to pre-pay?
But first, how pre-paying for funerals came to be
The foundations of today’s funeral industry began to take shape during the Civil War, when embalming became widespread, so that deceased soldiers could be transported home to their families.
As death moved out of the home and into the hands of professionals, care became more standardized and more expensive. By the mid-20th century, large corporate funeral chains began acquiring smaller homes and aggressively marketing “pre-need arrangements”: pre-planned, pre-paid packages aimed at locking in prices and reducing the emotional burden on families (something that is still happening today).
But these pre-arranged plans weren’t just about peace of mind—they were a strategic business move. With cremation rates rising (and undercutting burial revenue), pre-paid contracts help funeral homes stabilize cash flow and secure long-term customers.
Still, pre-paying has its pitfalls. Over the decades, some families have faced scams, mismanagement, and contracts that didn’t cover what they expected. In response, the Federal Trade Commission adopted the Funeral Rule in 1984, requiring funeral homes to provide clear, itemized pricing, ban forced bundles and upsells, and ensure families can bring in their own casket (did you know you can buy one from Costco, Amazon, and Walmart?). While the rule doesn’t regulate pre-payment directly, it grew out of the same concern: What happens when death becomes a transaction rather than a communal act of care?
Today, most people don’t pre-pay simply because they haven’t thought about it. For those who do, there are benefits (and there are a few different ways to do it, which we’ll get to), but only if you ask the right questions and understand the risks.
Let’s get into it!
TL;DR—a quick glance at the pros and cons
If you’re skimming, here’s the high-level breakdown:
✅ Pros
If you lock in the cost 10 years in advance, you can save a lot of money
Increase the likelihood that your exact wishes will be followed
May support medicaid eligibility (by legally “spending down” assets to qualify for government support while ensuring funeral expenses are covered)
Can reduce the emotional burden on your people
Can feel like an act of love and provide peace of mind
❌ Cons
You risk money being mishandled, or might end up paying too much
Your preferences may change, but the contract might not
Plans might not be portable if you move or die abroad
Unexpected fees still arise, and some contracts don’t cover all the expenses
You might get better returns by investing instead
We asked the experts. Here’s what they said.
We handpicked a variety of trusted experts that represent diverse perspectives (and of course it’s worth noting that many of them work in or alongside the funeral industry). Here’s what we found. (Disclaimer: This is for informational use only. This is not financial advice.)
Start with a conversation, not a contract.
Pre-paying can help, but only after a plan is clear. Before you even think about money, talk to your loved ones about the reality of your mortality. Share your beliefs about what happens after death and any fears or regrets you might have about death—and life. Discuss your preferences for your body disposition and funeral. Think about how your values might influence your options, and your hope for how the people you love will remember or honor you after you’re gone (more for them than for you).
“Pre-planning is the right decision for everyone, but pre-paying is a very personal decision not right for everyone—the most important thing is having a conversation with your loved ones about what you would like your funeral, the budget to be, picking out items… and giving your family the gift of making decisions ahead of time, so they’re not pressured into overspending at the time of need.”
— Joshua Siegel, Co-Founder at Titan Casket
Know how (and where) your money is being held.
Most funeral homes aren’t legally allowed to hold your money directly. Instead, as Jamie Sarche, Director of Pre-Planning at Feldman Memorial, explains, “the funds are going to be held by a third party, typically a trust or an insurance company.” That’s why it’s important to understand where your money is going, who holds it, and what protections you have if the funeral home closes, changes ownership, or if you move. Some plans are portable and flexible while others are not.
Pre-paying isn’t always the smartest financial move.
When done well, it can spare the people you love from unexpected costs and emotional distress. But it’s not without risk. The Funeral Consumers Alliance cautions against these policies altogether, warning that “you’ll often pay as much or more in premiums than the policy will pay out.”
“While it can prevent the “What would Mom have wanted?” panic during a time of countless other decisions, you are essentially providing the funeral home with an interest-free loan for a service you won’t use for (hopefully) a while…Instead of pre-paying, consider earmarking funds in a life insurance policy or a payable-on-death account, and giving your family the flexibility to shop around when the time comes.”
— Rachel Donnelly, Founder and CEO of AfterLight
On the flip side, pre-paying is a gift that can protect the people you love from debt.
One of the most widely cited benefits of pre-paying is the financial and emotional relief it can offer grieving families. Emily Miller, Managing Partner at Colorado Burial Preserve, said she’s seen families “go to great lengths to figure out how to pay for the funeral when it wasn’t prefunded—including maxing credit cards [and] borrowing against retirement.” But when a plan is in place, that stress disappears.
Erica Hill, founder of Sparrow, a contemporary funeral home, echoed this, noting that families often tell her, “I don’t want my family to have to worry about this.” She shared a recent example of two daughters whose father, now on hospice, had fully funded his funeral arrangements in advance. And with money and plans already in place, they were able to focus entirely on honoring his life, without the added burden of logistics or unexpected costs.
Pre-praying can protect your values and vision, making it a better fit for people who know what they want.
The more specific your funeral wishes, the more useful pre-paying becomes. For people whose plans diverge from tradition or who know exactly what they want, locking in details ahead of time ensures that those preferences are honored. As thanatologist Elreacy Dock put it, “prepayment is increasingly ideal for those drawn to practices like home funerals, green burials, natural organic reduction, or other ‘alternative’ options...and can act as a shield against the risk of personal preferences being overwritten by convention or external pressure from others.”
This is especially important for people without clear next of kin, and those with strong ethical or religious preferences. Emily Miller of the Colorado Burial Preserve emphasized that if you want a funeral to reflect your values, it’s only fair to do the research, make the decisions, and, if possible, pre-pay to remove the burden from your loved ones later.
Do your research—and know your rights.
You don’t have to buy everything from the funeral home. In fact, by law, funeral homes cannot refuse third-party items like caskets. As Siegel explained, “You have the right to buy your casket and other merchandise where you feel is best for you—funeral homes cannot refuse to receive it.” People who understand these rights and communicate their wishes in advance are in a much stronger position to make smart, cost-effective decisions. Planning ahead opens up more options, and can help families avoid making rushed, expensive choices under emotional stress.”
Pre-paying can bring peace of mind.
You might be surprised how much clarity and comfort can come from knowing exactly what will happen after you die.
Sarche, pre-paid for her own funeral at 42 and says it was one of the best decisions she’s made. Not only did it allow her to spread out payments over time, but her plan was also insured during the five years she was paying. “If I live a natural life, the plans I paid $8K for will likely be valued at more than $100K,” she noted, adding, “The best part, though, is that my loved ones will not have to make any decisions or pay for anything. It’s such a gift.”
For others, like Ineke Van Waardenburg, Co-Founder of Everis, pre-paying has helped alleviate existential anxiety. Her Memorial Tree—a majestic Ponderosa in Flagstaff—is where she plans to rest with her husband and pets. “I used to be afraid of dying, but not anymore… I feel at peace knowing my plan has been taken care of already.”
There’s also the practical benefit: locking in today’s costs. Austin Timpson of The Natural Funeral Home said, “Some families who pre-paid decades ago have saved thousands, thanks to discounted pricing adjusted for inflation when the services are eventually used.”
Different Ways to Pre-pay
If you’re thinking that you’d like to pre-pay, know that not all pre-paying is created equal. Here are the main options to consider:
A pre-need contract purchased directly with a funeral home. You pay a specific funeral home now for services in the future, and funds should be held in a trust or with a third-party insurer. These contracts are sometimes inflexible, but may lock in today’s prices. If you move, die in another state, or your plans change, another funeral home can usually submit a contract to access those funds when you die, but depending on how your plan is structured, the original funeral home may keep any interest or growth on the funds, so it’s important to ask how portability and value transfer work before signing.
A burial or funeral insurance policy (usually a small, whole life policy meant to cover funeral expenses) is sometimes sold by funeral homes, sometimes by third parties. These policies are more flexible because they’re not tied to one funeral home, but they don’t lock in costs, and you’ll typically pay premiums for your entire life while the benefit amount stays the same.
An irrevocable funeral trust (IFT) is money legally earmarked for funeral costs and can’t be counted as an asset—often used for Medicaid spend-downs. Either a pre-need contract or a burial insurance policy can be irrevocably assigned to qualify.
A payable-on-death (POD) account set up at a bank. Funds transfer directly to a beneficiary upon your death, providing a flexible, low-risk option that doesn’t lock you into a specific provider. You earmark money for funeral costs in a special account. No pre-arranged services, but offers control and flexibility.
Here’s our take on the matter
Everyone should pre-plan, but not everyone should pre-pay.
Easing the burden for your loved ones aside, you should consider pre-paying if: you’re in stable financial health, don’t anticipate a big move, know precisely what you want, and want to lock in a specific rate. If your life circumstances are more in flux, you don’t know what you want, or you’d prefer to maintain flexibility or more control of your money you might want to hold off.
The most straightforward option for people who want to spare the people they love the cost of burying or cremating them is to save and dedicate funds to your funeral (just be aware: leaving money in a will isn’t ideal for covering funeral expenses—those funds often don’t become available until after probate, which can take months or even years). But even more important than how you pay is that you plan. Contemplating your mortality, documenting your wishes, and sharing them with the people you love can spare your family tremendous emotional and financial stress. Check out our 10 questions to answer before you die—and sign up for the waitlist to be notified of the launch of Hello Mortal’s end-of-life planning platform. We’re building a better (and easier) way to plan for the end, so you can focus on living fully now.
Because what matters most is that you think about it now, while you still have the ability to decide, and document. Too often we wait until we’re older to make our end-of-life plans, but aging is a privilege not everyone is guaranteed.
Bottom line: Have the conversation, and make a plan so everyone is on board.
If you want to pre-pay, here are some questions you should ask before you sign anything. And be sure to shop around for the best prices because the funeral industry is not easy for the average person to navigate—especially when grieving. Also, pre-need contracts are regulated, and most states have a consumer-protection fund to reimburse customers who can prove they had a contract—just make sure your family knows where to find it. And if price is a concern, choosing direct cremation or donating your body to science can reduce the cost.
We want to know:
Have you pre-paid for your own funeral? If so, what was your experience like?
Have you planned a funeral for someone who pre-paid for it—or didn’t? How did this impact the experience?
I’d love to hear your story!
— Maura
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My parents pre-paid for their cremation. Other expenses were minimal because Dad was a veteran and their cremains were laid to rest in a U.S. national cemetery.
That won’t work for me, though, because I travel sometimes as much as 1/4 of the year. I’ve told my spouse and adult daughter that if I die away from home, they should plant me where I fall. (I need to write out instructions more fully.)
I’ve also taken them to the natural burial ground where I’d like my body to go if I die close to home. My next step there is to call their office and find out a) if I could open a file with them without pre-paying and b) what funeral home they work with the most. And then I’ll call the funeral home’s office and see if they would open a file for me. Do you have a sense of whether cemeteries and funeral homes might do that?
Thank you for pointing out the option of a PoD bank account for final expenses. That was new to me! My survivor(s) should need only a death certificate to access that, right?
Back to the natural burial ground: I only know about it because I officiated there at the burial of a dear friend a year ago. She had made no plans or only minimal ones, which caused her survivors — spouse and sister — considerable stress. So many decisions to be made in a short span of time! I’d done a bunch of weddings, but this was my first funeral. If I hadn’t expressed a willingness to conduct it, as an elder in the same spiritual community as my friend, I don’t know who might have stepped into that role. So that’s another thing to think about as you’re planning: Is there someone you trust to give you the send-off that you want, even if you don’t lay out all the details for them? My parents were adamant about having no service of any kind, so for their burial, we gathered a handful of close friends, met at the cemetery, and allowed the flag ceremony to take place, then thanked everyone for coming and adjourned to the nearest BBQ joint. Simple can sometimes be the best.
This topic has been on my mind for a long time. Your post is filled with respectful and helpful guidance on what could be, an uneasy conversation to be had. Thank you.